Blind Faith Explained

Many of the people in my life have often heard me refer to myself as bl1ndf41th or Blind Faith. It started out one day when my Xbox Live gamertag needed an overhaul and I really wanted something meaningful to take the place of "VespidAura", a randomized tag created by Microsoft.

I began thinking about what type of tag I wanted when I decided to search Google for common situations in every man's life and one of the instances that turned up was losing your first love. I suppose I was having an emo day and thought that creating an I.D. to represent this would be a perfect idea. Thus, bl1ndf41th was created.

The way I came to this name was through a lot of thought and delegation. I wanted the name to stand out and make people ask, "Why that?" Well, the answer is simple.

Everyone, male of female, has that first love in their life. It's a brand new feeling for you and often times for them as well. It generally occurs between sixteen and eighteen years of age and you feel as if you're on top of the world. Nothing can hurt you; you have everything you've ever wanted. You put all of your faith and trust into that person because you know that there is no way he/she would ever harm you and you wouldn't harm them either.

One day, though, you hear those awful words: "We need to talk." Four words so often spoken, but rarely ending in happy circumstance. I had followed her blindly up until this point in our relationship over nearly two years. I couldn't imagine what she needed to talk to me about. I really thought that I was going to hear something about taking the next step or wanting to spend more time together. I mean, I was spending quite a bit of time with my friends of late and paid slightly less attention to her.

It was then that her shoulders slumped, her light-hearted face turned into a cold frown, and tears began to fall from her cheeks. "I made a terrible mistake," she said. "I cheated on you with Frank."

I was absolutely devastated. I couldn't even begin to speak; the only thing I could do was roll over on my bed to my side and let the tears silently roll off my face. The pain I felt in my heart was unlike anything I had ever felt before and my whole body went numb. We cried together in those final moments together and eventually, she got up and left.

Days passed as I lay in my own misery. I didn't go to class, I didn't eat at all, and I didn't stare away from the wall in my room for hours at a time. Eventually, I was able to get hold of myself and pretend nothing had happened. The way I look at women will never be the same again, though I know I'll have to trust one again sooner or later if I plan on being happy again.

It was that faith in her that caused it to hurt so much. I followed her blindly for nearly two years. That is how I reached the name: Blind Faith